


I can't say it. Let me write it

by DanaFanel



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Asperger Syndrome, Autism Spectrum, Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:52:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaFanel/pseuds/DanaFanel





	I can't say it. Let me write it

What I feel

 

I feel different from others, watching them look me over with sneers, curiosity, and fear. I don’t know how I scare some people, but I do. I can’t change that. I am who I am, just as I always have been

 

I feel scared. I’m a college grad with a number of disabilities. People don’t even have to ask; they just know something is off with me. No one wants a teacher/tutor/ even a cashier that’s not normal. I wish I could be, but I can’t

 

I feel worthless. College grad working an 8 per hour job? What a waste. A 32-year-old living at home with her mom? What a burden. Everyone tells me I’m not worthless, a waste, or a burden. So how do I tell myself that?

 

I want it to stop. I want to stop feeling, maybe all together. I WANT to be a writer, but there’s no money in it. I want to be an elementary school teacher, but that’s not my degree. I want to be loved, but I’m too weird. I need to grow up. All my friends are doing it.

 

I don’t want to tell anyone. It’s not their problems. They shouldn’t feel pressured to help me fix my stupid life.

 

I shouldn’t be here if I’m not useful.


End file.
